Tears...

It’s been a hard week but thankfully my boss took pity on me and let me go home 2 hours earlier than planned! What a way to end this week.

My work mate Steve finished up working with us yesterday and as much as he grated on my nerves at times and his laziness used to infuriate the life out of me and don’t get me started with his lack of work ethic! I actually feel like I am not in the same workplace anymore. He was a practical joker who would have us (or me) laughing daily. I actually am going to miss him.

I was quite sad today, so much so that I burst into tears this morning as soon as I walked into my workplace. Our receptionist took one look at me and I noticed that my tears were making her tear up.

I was so embarrassed that I broke out the way I did and spent the day today apologizing profusely. My boss looked at me like there was something obscenely wrong with me and told me that he had never seen my cry over someone leaving.

I cried and cried and felt so sad that I thought I better calculate when my period was due as these tears were definitely not tears of joys, nor were they really tears of sadness but tears of something else! I sat with my diary in front of me and I’m not due for another fortnight so it must not be the hormones taking over.

I then thought well could I be pregnant? Don’t women get hypersensitive and emotional and teary when they fall pregnant? Readers please excuse my ignorance when it comes to anything pregnancy related but I have never been pregnant to know how one should feel. At lunchtime I raced to the local pharmacy and grabbed me a pregnancy test just to be sure.

I discreetly placed the pregnancy test down the front of my pants and went into the staff bathroom and then peed on the stick and waited anxiously. I waited some more and then waited some more and after 3 minutes of sheer terror and anxiety it came back negative. So how do I explain these tears?

I’ve come home early from work and have sat quietly in the comfort of my home thinking about, okay over analysing, why I am so morose and teary and 5 hours after the fact I am no clearer as to why.

Maybe I am so overworked and over stressed and over tired that I just need to catch up on my sleep and get back into the groove of my very happy and fulfilling life.

Maybe I shouldn’t have called my blog Dishevelled Happiness as all I seem to be doing is not really appreciating the goodness and happiness in my life but I seem to be focusing more on tears, fatigue, stress and sadness.

Someone please help me get out of this funk please!

DH

xoxo