I am unhappy with my workplace!

Today I had the day off work and it was so well deserved! I have been working so hard of late; well let me rephrase that, as all I seem to do is work hard. I left my previous job some 5 years ago as it was highly stressful and thought that my then new work place would be a little easier on the stress levels but alas its been quite the opposite.

I never in a million years thought that I would have to and be expected to work so hard and for such long hours and be paid a base salary. Its also extremely depressing when your work colleagues get pay rises and I am the one doing their job plus my own and have had a 50 cent pay rise in 5 years. Its sad and its unfair but I know that one day karma is going to bite my bosses in the arse and they are going to realise how good I am at my job, how dedicated I am and how hard I work.

What upsets me is that I don’t understand why I’m being treated this way. I question myself daily and part of me tells myself to sabotage myself and my work ethic, put the brakes on and take my time doing an average job, and see what happens but I can’t do it. Don’t think I haven’t asked for a pay rise because I have and I get the “we will see” comment or the beauty “we cant afford you on the pay that you are on now” HA! So laughable.

Last week one of my work colleagues told me she was given a pay rise and I almost burst into tears out of sheer frustration and disappointment. Don’t get me wrong Caitlyn deserves it as she works hard but its not fair.

I want to leave my current work place and start afresh somewhere new but when I weigh it all up it makes better sense that I stay where I am and wait it out. The Husband is always telling me to go back to my previous employer who is constantly asking me to come back. Part of me wants to go back but I have always been a firm believer that you should never look back.

So what do I do? Do I try and sit the head honchos down and discuss my sadness, frustration, disappointment, and anger with them? Do I try and get my point across and make them see that they have a hard diligent competent worker who is getting itchy fit and cabin fever and wants to leave?

I’m stuck in a rut here and I really don’t know what to do.

DH

xoxo

A film called "Beautiful Kate"...

Have you ever watched a film and by the end of it you are left feeling like “What the hell was that all about?” Well I just experienced that. I watched an Australian movie called Beautiful Kate.

The movie was shot in the amazing Flinders Rangers in South Australia. I imagine that people who haven’t been to Australia before think that all of Australia looks like this. It’s the typical Australian Outback but truly a breathtakingly beautiful part of this amazing country.

Before I go into the movie I have to say that this movie is a little on the eclectic side and you would need an acquired taste to fully understand and appreciate it as it is either going to shock the pants off you, and disgust you, or it’s going to entice and enthral you.

The main character is Ned who is a successful author who had moved to the city. He is asked to return back to his fathers homestead by his sister Sally. The homestead is as remote and isolated and away from the world. Imagine it being stuck literally in the middle of nowhere. Sally has basically asked Ned to come home to say his last goodbyes to his dying father. Ned has no relationship with his father; in fact he loathes the man and blames him for the death or suicide of his older brother. He arrives bringing his very young fiancée Toni with him who has a brutal time adjusting to the harshness and total isolation of the land.

Whilst staying with his father Ned begins to remember his past and the dirty family secrets and things tend to start bubbling to the surface. He starts to remember the dark secrets that he shared with his beautiful twin sister, Kate, when they were children. The film flickers between the present time and the past.

Their mother had passed away years ago and the tyrannical father was left to raise 4 children. I guess he didn’t have the parenting skills to do this on his own when he is also trying to work his land. Ned and his twin sister Kate are extremely naive and innocent in a sense as Kate was always walking around the house topless at the age of about 14. It comes across as she had no idea that was she was doing was inappropriate. There is a sort of real innocence to her.

They show scenes where Ned touches his sister’s breast and then another full on scene where he ejaculated on her (yes you read right). Its clearly incest but, and I’m not making any excuses here, but it was almost like part of them thought that this was wrong but the other part sort of thought it was OK to do. In reality I’m sure we were all taught and will teach and instil in our own children the basic no-no’s like touching your sister up OR having your sister touch you up is not the right thing.

So one evening Ned went out and got drunk. He decides to go for a skinny-dip in the family’s dam when out of the blue his twin sister Kate joins him. What initially was seen as an innocent swim turns out quite the opposite. Kate ended up seducing her drunk brother and then proceeds to initiate and have sex with Ned on the banks of the dam. Ned totally freaks out after the deed was done and starts to feel guilt, shame, disgust and remorse whilst his twin Kate was completely and utterly unperturbed by the whole deal. (I at this point sat screaming at the TV screen – NO!!!!!)

Kate then continues to want more sex with her brother Ned but he was always refusing her advances and telling her NO. Since Ned would do nothing but refuse her sexual advances and avoid being in the same room with her Kate then drags in their older brother Cliff and suggests to their older brother that Ned was making unwanted advances towards her (what a little bitch!) A huge brawl ensues and in walks their father Bruce.

Bruce I think was unsure about what his boys were brawling about but as punishment he tells Ned that he has to take his sister to the local dance. During the dance Kate gets a bit hmmm (just say it the way it is DH) ok she gets horny whilst dancing with her brother. Ned backs off and picks up a local girl at the dance and then cut to a scene of Ned having sex in the back of a car with the local tramp. Its clear that Ned is constantly trying to distance himself from his twin sister as he wants no part in the sick sexual game that Kate so wants. On the way home from the dance Ned discovers his dead sisters body in Cliff, his brother, car and then finds his brother Cliff dead in the shearing shed on the property.

The movie then comes back to the present time. Its revealed that Toni the fiancé discovered that Ned had an “affair” with this twin and she scoots out of town wanting no more with Ned. Eventually Sally his only sibling who is alive reveals that she knew all about the secret Ned was hiding. She reveals that the car accident Cliff and Kate were in had left another huge mystery as the cars clock had stopped at time of impact and no one could figure what had taken Cliff so long to get home from the dance and then commit suicide by hanging himself. It seems that Cliff was also having or committing incest with his young sister and he killed himself after the shame and guilt and realisation of what they had done.

The movie then shows Ned reconciling with his father Bruce and apologising for blaming his father for death suicide of his brother Cliff. He doesn’t tell his father the truth about his twin Kate because Kate was his fathers favourite.

I was gob smacked by the time the film had finished. It was a movie filled with one twist and then as soon as you came to grips with that twist another was thrown in to totally blow your socks off. It was an intense film that touched the unspeakable that being incest and it showed the instability of a young girl who really had some serious psychological issues.

I loved this film and I would love to see it again!

DH

xoxo

Facebook Cull – To delete or not to delete?

I’ve been a Facebook junkie for a few years now and along the way have reconnected with old friends, found family members who have relocated overseas, caught up with my current group of friends and work colleagues.

I used to love catching up with everyone’s news. Seeing their photos, laughing at their funny statuses yet at the same time I have sort of been left feeling that I am snooping in their person lives. Why do we tend to tell the world so much? Why do we Facebook everything? I also feel that Facebook has become a page where everyone tends to brag about things that they have purchased? Its weird to me. I tend to have more friends write on my Facebook wall to say hi rather than ringing me up and saying HI. Is this what the world has come to? A life of no longer communicating using the telephone or meeting up with a friend face to face.

I’ve noticed lately that a lot of these “friends” tend to come across so negative and so bitter and it’s bringing me down severely. What have we come to where the only thing that we “report” on is something negative, bad and miserable?

Then there are the other friends who feel the need to comment on everything that you have to state and have to better you. For example I would say something like “So freezing and windy in Melbourne” and the said type of people have to bigger themselves and better you by replying with “Well not as cold as it is in Ballarat, you need to move to where I live to really say you are cold” I know its petty what I am describing but it gets so tiresome as it’s the same bullshit over and over again. Then I am made to feel like what I have to say is pointless to you.

Then there is the type of situation where one might say “Geez I feel so sick this cold is killing me” and the response is “Well I’m so sick I had to have a week off work” I want to scream “Did I ask you? This is about ME not about YOU! Facebook freaks have become so self absorbed and so narcissistic and I’m over it.

It also seems, well it’s blatantly obvious that I have a Facebook stalker. We shall call her Mary. Everything I say or do she has to comment, she has to compete and be better than me when I mention something and if I post a photo then within hours she too posts a similar photo.

A usual occurrence in The Dishevelled Happiness household is I will write something on Facebook and within minutes The Husband will look over at me and mention that my serial stalker pest Mary has replied to my post and focused it all on her. It infuriates The Husband so much that he gets very vocal about it and he sometimes goes onto my Facebook page and deletes her reply immediately. I always tell The Husband to just ignore her and it will hopefully go away but it actually never does!

I’m starting to feel that Mary is a tad obsessed with my life and me and she is harmless but it’s becoming very annoying and I want to cull her and a few other people but its finding the courage to do so I guess.

Once upon a time everyone was upbeat and happy on Facebook but now everyone just seems to be boring, negative, abusive and dull. Here I was thinking that I was the only one thinking like this and maybe I was over analysing things but funnily enough a few of my other friends, family and co-workers have all said the exact same thing.

I really want to pluck the courage and start culling these people but at the same time I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I am usually very upfront and matter of fact about things yet I’m feeling gutless about actually doing this. So I guess I am being a hypocrite about the whole thing.

So I’m left pondering to delete or not to delete?

DH

xoxo

Such is Life the Ben Cousins Story.

Ben Cousins is a footballer who plays in the AFL. I am not a fan of his, I don’t know much about him and all I could really tell you about him is the fact that he has been on our news constantly, and constantly being slammed for being an elite athlete who has had a very public battle with drug addiction. There has been a lot of hype in Melbourne of late with a documentary that Ben made about himself and his addiction.

The Husband flatly refused to watch it and told me that he despised this man and could not bring himself to watch it. It didn’t interest him whatsoever. I, on the other hand was curious. I wanted to see what this was all about and I am a fan of anything “reality”. I like to see “real” things about “real people”.

The documentary was screened in 2 parts. So I initially watched Part 1 and my judgments were based solely on watching that. I wrote a very long blog entry initially slamming Ben Cousins and basing my opinion on that alone. This afternoon though I watched Part 2 or the conclusion and my entire opinion of him and this documentary has changed.

So here we go, I went into watching this documentary with the only information being that Ben was a well-known footballer and that he was and in a sense always will be a drug addict. I wanted to see how dyslexic his situation was. When I say dyslexic I mean it as in an athlete being a drug addict is sort of contradictory. I know that there are many athletes who take all sorts of drugs from the recreational to the pharmaceutical to performance enhancing drugs but they (not to my knowledge) haven’t exactly come out and said that they are addicts.

My observation was that here was an elite athlete, with an amazing body, who was supposedly a great footballer who took and abused drugs yet still played the game and played it well. It was clear that his drug taking and addiction did not interfere with his job. His job being football.

Part 1 left me feeling surprised and saddened. What surprised me the most was the fact that Ben really showed no real remorse. In fact our media seem to be reporting this exact same thing as their headline news. Where was the remorse? He also came across rather arrogant, self-obsessed and self-absorbed. I was left feeling as if his attitude was “This is my story and I make no apologies”. I saw no real substance in making this documentary. It was just Ben Cousins telling us the viewer his story.

It then showed Ben doing his drugs and twitching spasmodically (which was awful to see) yet he, Ben, came across very nonchalant about the whole thing. I sadly felt no attachment to him and I tried ever so hard to warm towards him, to sympathize, to try and feel and understand what had made him become addicted and I tried to work out what drove his addiction but sadly all I could see coming back from the TV was a smug young man who told his story whilst smirking at the camera, like this was all some wonderful silly little joke that he was letting us in on!

It was almost like he was subliminally suggesting that you too could do drugs, be an athlete and get away with it. Maybe Ben believes that this attitude is OK and each to his own but is that a good message to be putting out there? Let’s think about this a little bit. Lets just say I had a son who idolized Ben Cousins and he watched this documentary the message my son would have gotten would have been – “Do drugs because it makes you cool and just don’t take them the day before or on the day of a game and you will be fine, look at me I got away with it”

Now I could be wrong about how I have interpreted Ben and I tried to take on a different perspective or angle but I couldn't make excuses for something that appeared so clear on the TV screen. He was almost blatantly showing off his drug addiction and the fact that he believes he got away with it. The reality though is that he didn't get away with it because constantly being harassed and stalked by the media and being fired from one football club and being suspended from the league for 12 months is not exactly getting away with it, now is it?

The documentary was approved and OK’d by Ben Cousins yet it almost viewed as if some tabloid type of producer had put it together and wanted to paint a negative picture of this athlete. That’s what was so weird about it. There was not one real “positive” message in it whatsoever. If they were to make a documentary about you and your life would there not be anything “good” about you in it?

The doco was very revealing as it showed Ben smoking amphetamines out of a crack pipe, snorting massive amounts of cocaine, and it sort of left me feeling uncomfortable if I may be honest. I thought it was too "in your face" for national TV. Maybe I was naive and thought that it would not be as graphic and revealing as it was. Maybe this was done deliberately to shock and entice the viewer?

I understand that drug addiction is a selfish act and from what I understand when an addict is injecting/smoking/snorting/taking a drug they aren’t thinking about their families they are one path and that path is to get high, get their fix, feel numb whatever, its all about THEM. I understand that drug addiction has a lot to do with numbing or forgetting your demons but I am left questioning what sort of demons this young man could possibly have. His family when interviewed seemed like such a beautiful, supportive, loving people who genuinely cared and loved their son and brother. It seems like this young man had copious amount of money thrown at him at a very young age, had beautiful girls hanging around vying for his attention, had fast cars, basically all that money could buy him, all the material possessions one would want. So why did he chase drugs? Why did he jeopardize his career, livelihood and life and everything else for drugs? I don't get it!

Then after watching Part 2 everything changed for me. I initially went into this part feeling anger towards him, hating him and feeling negative. Part 2 though had more heart, feelings and substance behind it. It spoke more to his family and we got to hear what they as a family were going through. The struggles, the issues, and the problems they had with their son. You see I initially thought that Ben was setting himself up for MORE negative press, more hate and more barrage from the media and this documentary was going to be what truly ruined his career and his reputation for life. I thought he was a fool who thought that any publicity was good publicity but just make sure you spell my name right attitude!

What I saw was a vulnerable little boy (even though I believe he is a 30 year old man) who came across as an arrogant shit but strip away the barriers and he was and is just like you and me. An everyday person who is fighting his demons albeit fighting them publicly. This little boy has a massive cross to bear and sadly its been done in the public eye. I actually shed a tear for him. It made me realize that he had everything money could buy yet something inside his head just wasn’t right. He turned to drugs to numb the demons.

I sincerely worry about him. He may have shaken the drugs off but once you become an addict to anything you always will be an addict. You may not be using drugs, you may be clean but the urge will always be there and that is his daily battle. I honestly believe that he is now a “Clean Addict” but an addict he is if that make any sense.

I hope to God that he finds the inner peace that he so needs and I hope from the bottom of my heart that one day and one day soon he is happy within.

DH

xoxo

I’m a Health Hazard!

I don’t know what came over me this morning but after dropping the husband off at the train station I raced back home so I could get ready for work. I put the TV on MTV and I started dancing around like a maniac whilst getting ready for work. Picture Tom Cruise in that renowned Risky Business scene when he slides across the hallway in his underwear singing into his microphone and dancing. Well that was me this morning in my bra and panties and socks.

As I thrashed around the hallway engulfed in a ball of happiness and a bundle of energy I was in total and utter bliss and feeling crazy happy. I then walked into my bathroom where I raised my arms up and then crack I was frozen in that position. I thought “Oh dear I can’t move, I’m home alone and I physically cannot call anyone to come and help me.”

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror staring at my reflection and trying to think fast on my feet. I had to turn my entire body around and look around my bathroom to try and work out how and where I could sit down. I slowly took tiny steps towards the end of the bathtub and ever so slowly sat my body down on it.

It was so cold this morning and our home was like an iceblock so after I had rested for a few moments I slowly walked towards our heating panel and with my nose slid the on button and then walked into our living room area and sat myself down. Within a few minutes, but what really felt like an eternity, I started to get movement back in my arms and they slowly lowered them.

I eventually, but ever so slowly, got dressed and headed to work. How I drove to work with the stiffest neck and shoulders without crashing my car is a divine miracle! I slowly lifted my body out of the car and sat wincing in pain for the first few hours of my workday. Thankfully it was a quiet day and I must admit I spent the majority of my day in a seated position not doing any work. I thought if the bosses catch me I really couldn’t give a wank because my pain was that overbearing and all consuming.

To make matters worse I had an appointment with my dentist. Visiting the dentist usually doesn’t phase me I’m fearless and I can usually tolerate her hissing drill but I thought “DH, how the hell are you going to get back into your car drive for an hour and get to the dentist in one piece and without causing a possible massive car accident?” I got into the car and drove ever so carefully and slowly and literally having to turn my entire body from the waist to look over my shoulder.

I made it in one piece to the dentist and then when she sat me back down in the chair I accidentally let out the loudest groan you could think of. The lovely dentist asked me whether we should reschedule for another time but I was insistent that she finish my root canal.

So here I am lying in a dental chair in sheer neck and shoulder agony, I have a piece of rubber shoved on my face and cant swallow properly, cant speak, and the lovely Dr Julia tells me “DH we have a problem with your root canal, it seems that you have an extra canal hence why you have been experiencing so much grief with this tooth” As soon as I got that bit of exciting news I was ready to rip off this rubber thing that was on my face, tear the paper bib off, throw my sunglasses and hobble out whilst throwing a tantrum! Instead I tried to speak which had me choking on my own saliva, and then having a coughing fit, which in turn jarred my neck and shoulder region!

When I was eventually freed from the dental chair I hobbled into the dentists bathroom and wiped away my tears of frustration, pain and anger. I was in so much pain that it literally consumed me. I collected myself and went on my merry way and got back to my work desk where I literally sat there in a zombified state and counting the minutes until I could go home and rest.

My entire day had me asking myself why on earth I did such a stupid thing by dancing around like a freak first thing in the morning! You would think that being happy and jovial in the morning would not turn out to be such a health hazard!

Anyway’s I’m home now and relaxing! Tomorrow is another day and I can assure you I won’t be waking up and dancing and singing straight up! I might give it a few hours and then let it rip! LOL!!

DH

xoxo

I’m going to grow my own tomatoes!

I have never had any interest whatsoever with anything horticultural. I have never had a green thumb, I have never been drawn to gardens, plants, growing my own vegetables nothing!My parents usually do our gardening and The Husband and I gratefully allow them to do what they want at our place. When I look at weeds they look like just bushy greenery to me. When my mum has pointed out a huge weed I look at her dumbfounded because to me they look like plants or foliage, and they look pretty. Is that bad? Is it bad that I think weeds look pretty?

The Husband too is oblivious to anything “garden” like. He has never mowed the lawn at our place, as he has no interest whatsoever. Once my parents pass away I am sure that we will be paying a gardener to do what ever needs to be done. Aren’t we just sad? Aren’t we just pathetic? I guess we are your typical Generation X. I’m not upset that we have no interest in gardening I actually think its rather funny. Then again I am sure that we are good at doing other stuff, which hopefully compensates for things!

Having said all that, last weekend I was chatting to a friend who was talking about growing her own tomatoes. Brandy told me that last weekend was the ideal time to start planting for tomatoes. As our conversation went on something in my head told me that I should give it a go as well. I asked The Husband what he thought and he was extremely encouraging. I personally think that deep down he was rather chuffed to be doing something so “domesticated”.

So today we both had days off work and we headed off to our local nursery nice and early. We purchased two types of tomato plants, a La Roma plant and a Sugar Snack plant, along with some potting mixture and some pot plants. Which had me and still has me rather perplexed, as I didn’t think that there were so many varieties. Why we chose these two? Well to be honest with you it was what was in front of us! It was also raining and my hair was getting flat and frizzy and after spending 45 minutes this morning beautifying myself I wanted to get out of the rain fast!

As we walked back to our car with our hands full of garden supplies my dear husband stood at the back of the car sort of frozen. I asked him what was wrong and he said, “My last vestiges of single hood have gone”. I wanted to scream out in laughter but thought now come on DH a bit of maturity is needed here. Internally though I was in hysterics!

In all seriousness though The Husband made a very valid point! We are adults but we are extremely childlike at the same time. I sometimes think that I am still single which is a bad habit and a hard habit to break! When you are so used to being on your own and doing your own thing and doing the typical “city girl/single chick” stuff it’s a bit freakish when we do things like buying tomato plants and potting mix! Can you see where we are both coming from?

We are both happy to plod along in life and be big kids and something so simple as buying garden supplies is a massive step and change for the both of us. We are becoming “mature” and doing what we what once upon a time would have called mundane and boring I personally am so excited.

I intend to spend the rest of my afternoon researching how to grown your own tomatoes as I need to know the how’s, the why’s and the when’s. I need to know what maintenance I have to do for my plants.

I endeavour to post photos in a few weeks time once my plants start to grow! Wish me luck!

DH

xoxo

Have I lost my Blog Mojo?

For the past 2 nights I have been staring at my blog page and doing nothing more but just staring and staring at the screen. I want to write about my day or write about a whole ton of topics but I just cant seem to find the words to string together. Its not like I don’t have an opinion on almost everything! Good Lord have I lost my blog mojo?

So after staring at this screen for almost 2 hours I think I better walk away from my computer and try again tomorrow!

DH

xoxo

Toddlers and Tiaras!

The Husband was working today and how I hate the fact that he has to work weekends but what can one do? The bills need to be paid and I need to be in a constant supply of shoes and handbags! So with the fact that I was home I alone I decided to take a rest from doing the housework and sat myself down with cup of tea to watch some television. Well on a Sunday morning there was nothing entertaining on so I was sort of forced to watch a show called Toddlers & Tiaras. I had never seen it before so I thought what the hell what’s half an hour of numb brain teli!

Well numb brain it wasn’t! Oh my Lord! What a vile piece of “entertainment” I was absolutely disgusted but yet I could not bring myself to change the channel, as I could not believe my eyes or my ears. Now this Pageant thing I believe is a very American type of activity. I have never seen anything like this in Australia and let me tell you if it did exist in Australia I could tell you now that I would be writing complaint letters not only to these pageant associations but also to my local Member of Parliament and to The Prime Minister of Australia. Why am I being so extreme about a Children’s Pageant? Because after seeing what I saw and what I heard I have to say that this is nothing but a form of child exploitation, child abuse and child pornography.

Anyways, I sat back and watched little girls aged between 1-12 being thrown into these pageants and sat back in sheer horror. I cannot blame these little girls, as they are being pushed and guided by so-called adults. You would think that as a parent and as an adult you would guide your child down a path of goodness and well being rather than exploiting your child not for their sake but for your own bizarre, selfish self.

What I saw were little girls wearing the skimpiest outfits looking like adult female strippers. Let me add I have no problem with what strippers do. Power to them and I applaud them for having the balls to get up there and do it and be paid handsomely for it. But an adult has a voice and I believe that strippers are astute businesswomen. Today’s TV viewing left me feeling disturbed as a little girl does not have the voice to say I am not doing that, or I don’t want to do that, or tell their mother's that they are not comfortable doing this.

How can a child between the ages of 1-12 know what is morally acceptable? They don’t, that’s what parents are for. To teach their child what is right and what is wrong and hope that they then have the brains and knowledge to continue on a good path.

As I sat there watching this show I could not find anything cute, sweet or innocent about it whatsoever. I watched parents teach children to be competitive. To be so competitive that winning is the only goal and the child’s only option. How is that healthy? It was almost like if you are a winner then you are the greatest but if you are a loser then you are nothing but a disappointment! Losing was not an option for these children. I was raised, and I am sure you too were raised, with the attitude and belief that you win some and you lose some. It’s all part of the game. I learnt not to be bitter when I lost in a sport or a game but it pushed me to try harder next time and if I kept losing (which I did a lot of times) it didn’t really faze me. It was never about winning it was always about having fun.

I saw Pageant Judges who stated that they decided on a winner by going by the total package. Now that’s a joke right? These little girls are parading around in a ton of makeup and skimpy stripper clothes and that’s judging someone as a total package? Are you people seriously normal in the brain? These parents dress their daughters up as sluts and yet they cant see anything wrong with doing so? Yet they go to church every Sunday and praise the Lord? They all claim they are conservative? I think they are a bunch of hillbillies that need to stop spending their money on this pageant bullshit and go buy themselves some teeth! Yes I’m being nasty but can you blame me? Can you not see that a 10-year dressed and dancing like a stripper is not a healthy thing?

Then there were little girls being judged on “Beautiful Face”. How can you judge that? How cruel is that? Imagine being judged on your face? It was heartbreaking as these little girls were all beautiful in their own special way. Are they setting up the future of their America to have self image issues? To hate themselves because they weren’t beautiful and they were losers who didn’t win anything in a pageant?

Then this one mother was having a passive aggressive conversation come argument with her 3 year old telling her child that she had to have a spray tan because and if I may quote her:

Mommy -“You can’t go out there looking white when everyone else is dark, we have to have dark, dark tans so we can be like the other girls”

3 year olds response: “ I don’t want to do it mommy”.

Mommy: “Well you have to!”

Then they showed the said 3 year old throwing a massive tantrum (and who can blame the kid). Then they cut back to the Mommy who said that her daughter doesn’t mind having a spray tan in fact she really likes it. Umm hello? Your daughter was just throwing a tantrum, kicking screaming and biting a second ago have you completely lost your fucking mind?

Then they were showing other mothers of pageant children who were being so rude about other little children. Saying things like she isn’t that beautiful, why didn’t my little Sarah Jane win? How fucking deplorable! A lot of the mothers that were interviewed all said the same thing that this Pageant bullshit was their hobby. Its THEIR hobby its not the child’s and its not in the child’s best interest either can they not see that?

Then a mother was asking her 3 year old – “Do you have a skinny belly or a fat belly or a chunky belly?" So now along with the therapist that this young woman is going to eventually need she will also most likely have an eating disorder to boot! These mothers are Psycho mums and I find it unfair that they are parents when there are thousands of woman out there who cannot have children and would make much better mothers.

They interviewed a Father of a 5 year old and his line of “ Its fine by me as long as its tasteful” and he is staring at his 5 year old in her swimsuit jiggling her booty around and blowing kisses. Hey dickhead do you see what your daughter is doing? Do you think that’s tasteful do you? You perverted stupid waste of a human being!

You need a licence to drive a car, in Australia you need a license to own a gun but why are we not made to have licenses to have a child? I can tell you now if I ever have a 3 year old she will never and I mean NEVER wear clothes, tan, makeup, fake eyelashes and acrylic nails EVER. When she is adult enough I will allow her to do as she pleases but not at 3 years of age. I want my 3 year old to be just that a 3 year old.

Shame on you America for allowing this sort of paedophilic shit to go down. I am truly and utterly disgusted! God Bless America and God help these Pageant Freaks!

DH

xoxo

Jambalaya!

Saturdays are usually the day where I am cooking something new and unusual in the kitchen. Mondays through to Fridays I am usually too busy with work to get creative and I have no energy after a busy working day to potter in the kitchen, make a huge mess and then worry about the cleaning up.

Usually on Sundays I search through the Internet and or my cookbooks and try to find something that I have always wanted to taste or find something that makes my taste buds when reading scream out in delight! I tend to menu plan a week in advance. I do that so that when I do find a recipe I like I can research it and find out as much information about the recipe, its origins and so forth. Yes I over analyse things its one of my most annoying flaws but I cant help who I am. I have an inquisitive nature. I need to know the where’s, hows and whys of things.

Last Sunday I found a recipe for the dish Jambalaya. I have always being curious and interested and I guess have had this curiosity and fascination about New Orleans and especially The French Quarter of New Orleans. This fascination with New Orleans has been with me for as long as I can remember. I have never been to any part of the USA but I know that one day The Husband and I will go and visit and stay and explore New Orleans.

So back to my Jambalaya dish. Like I said I found the recipe last week and was determined to have a go and try and make it. I went out and purchased all the ingredients and spices and spent the morning preparing it all. I made it in my slow cooker and the smells radiating out of my kitchen were seriously out of this world.

Whilst it was cooking I trolled through the Internet trying to find out as much as I could about Jambalaya. I just needed to know more! Where and how it originated and I was amazed that there were 3 varieties of the same dish. The recipe that I had was based on a Creole version of the dish and I found that that was the most appealing to me. I also felt that it was more “authentic” (Remember I am Australian so I could be wrong when it comes to authenticity here) I also thought that it would be more spicy and I really wanted to cook something with a bit of “kick” to it if that makes any sense.

There were so many different varieties. I found a recipe for Cajun Jambalaya but I wasn’t drawn to it as the recipe said that with the Cajun variety you don’t add tomatoes and I love tomatoes in my food. I also did not realise, and remember I am Australian so I am not up to speed here, that Cajun and Creole are two totally different things. I always thought that they were the same thing.

The more I researched Jambalaya the more I came to the realization that my recipe may have been “based” on a Creole version but really it was a “White Jambalaya” version, which apparently is rarely made in Louisiana. I had to laugh out aloud when I read that description as here I was trying to be as authentic as I could yet I was cooking the easy and quick version! The white version is considered the quick version as it’s meant to shorten the cooking time. So that’s where I went wrong! I knew I should have delved deeper into my research before cooking!

So The Husband and I sat down at dinnertime at the dinner table and I served my version of the dish. Well what do I say? The smell was divine, the dish looked beautiful and colourful, the taste was lovely yet I was a bit let down as, and if this makes any sense, the smells were way much better than the actual taste. Let me elaborate, it tasted beautiful but I found it was not “spicy” enough. I thought that it would have a bigger kick to it. I thought I would have to have a glass of water with every few mouthfuls as I thought it would blow my socks off spicy wise. So for that I was sort of let down.

I think the next time I make this dish and I will make it again as I want to and expect myself to perfect it, I wont cook it in the slow cooker and I will need to add more of the spices and seasonings. I will make the Creole version again but this time I will not opt for the quick route! Slow and steady always wins the race as they say.

I shouldn’t be so hard on myself though as I do live on the other side of the planet and we have no Cajun or Creole Supermarkets where I can buy the real and proper and authentic ingredients. So in a sense this was an “Australian” version of the dish and it I think I did a pretty good job of it.

I really would like to attempt Gumbo next as that looks and sounds delicious as well. Even though I live a million miles away from New Orleans I want to bring the food, taste and smells of New Orleans into my home for my friends and family and to try.

I’ve also promised myself that one day and hopefully one day soon I will be in New Orleans eating the real authentic deal!

DH

xoxo

I have become Wonder Woman!

Oh my God what a day! I was up bright and early and from the second I have been up I have been running around like a headless chook! From the second I got to work I locked myself in the back office and worked through my morning tea break, I worked through my lunch break and I worked through my afternoon break.

The second I put my handbag down I was unpacking boxes, cleaning the office and then I sat down and powered through my desk which was piled high paperwork. There were so many loose ends that needed my desperate attention. I remember going to the bathroom twice and to the water cooler for a few glasses of water. Before I knew it was 5pm and I screamed out a goodbye to all, grabbed my car keys and handbag and ran out of the building running as fast as I could. I jumped into my car and drove home like a maniac.

The second I got home I was stripping my work uniform off whilst yelling out a hello to The Husband! I kissed him a hello and goodbye grabbed my environmentally friendly shopping bags and ran straight out the door juggling handbag, keys, shopping bags and trying to put my coat on.

It’s now just after 8.30pm and I have put all the groceries away, had a shower and I am chowing down to dinner whilst I write tonight’s blog entry! To say that I am running on adrenalin would be an understatement! There is so much to do and I feel like there are just not enough hours in a day! I am jumping from here to there, doing one thing and then starting the next.

I have become Wonder Woman and I am lightening fast but even Wonder Woman needs to eventually sit down and relax...well for just a little bit!

DH

xoxo

A chuckle a day is the greatest medicine!

The Husband has been working the very early shift this week and God Bless him as when he does he tends to tiptoe around the house allowing me to sleep for an extra hour or so without being disturbed, before I have to drive him to the station (as he catches the train into work).

When I’m asleep I’m asleep there could be a mad man in my home swinging a sword and I would be totally and utterly oblivious. I’ve become a very deep sleeper.

Yesterday morning though, he crept into our bedroom and ever so quietly opened his wardrobe door. He quietly put his work pants on and then I heard him muttering something ever so softly. I opened one eye and looked up at him and he quietly apologised for waking me and said something but I couldn’t quite understand him as I was still zonked out. Instead of asking him then and there what he had said I rolled over to my side and most likely started snoring and drooling on my pillow and went back to a bit more sleep.

When it was time to get up I asked The Husband what he had said and he told me that he was wearing his boxer shorts and then grabbed his work pants and slipped into them only to find that he had left his other boxers in there. So think about it, here he is standing in the dark with a fresh clean of boxers on and then grabs his work pants that had the day before boxers in them and ended up wearing two pairs of underwear and his work pants on top.

But you would think that he would have learnt his lesson right? The lesson being that he should just switch the light on in the morning or prepare his work uniform from the night before. So what happens this morning? He proceeded to do the same thing this morning but instead of doubling up on his underwear he accidentally wore his boxer shorts back to front and endured total agony all day long as he had his pee hole in his bum area and his pee area confined! Apparently he had a rather awkward time trying to use the bathroom!

I have not stopped chuckling to myself the past 2 days! Poor man!

DH

xoxo

Spitting the dummy!

I am a happy person. I am always throwing positivity out to every one around me. I laugh and I laugh like I mean it but when my buttons are continuously pushed I crack and I hate it when I do!

I’ve said this before I feel like I am constantly venting on this blog and constantly focusing on the negative and I’m not coming across in my dishevelled happiness bliss. I am instead turning into an ugly, negative, sour puss and if you know me you will know that I am not like that at all.

This afternoon saw me spitting the dummy, for any reader not familiar with colloquial term as it’s really something that us Aussies tend to use (but I could be wrong) it means “to indulge in a sudden display of anger or frustration. The phrase is usually used of an adult, and the implication is that the outburst is childish, like a baby spitting out its dummy in a tantrum and refusing to be pacified” (Thank you to Urban Dictionary for the above definition). Also a dummy is what we Australians call a pacifier.

I get along with my superiors and we always come to some form of agreement and understanding but today I spat the dummy and angrily expressed myself without backing down and without any compromise.

I am sick and tired of all our good, hard working staff, and I include myself as I AM the hardest worker in my office, being treated like shit who work so fucking hard and we get absolutely nothing in return. No praise, no thank you, and no financial rewards. I am frustrated that my slack colleagues get what they want, when they want and yet I’m the one doing their job.

I work with a lovely young girl, Sally, who works just as hard as I do. We are passionate about our work and our work ethic is amazing yet we get treated like doormats and I’m not going to take this for very much longer.

Sally was supposed to have had two pay increases in the past 12 months as stipulated in her contract or letter of offer and today whilst going through her Wage Folder I stumbled across the fact. I did the right thing by my bosses and went straight to them rather than approach Sally and tell her of what I had found. The response I got just saw me seeing red and spitting the dummy.

I was told in a round about way to shut up about the fact and oops, yes someone has made an error and its not my fault its Claudia’s fault and then this statement “Well I don’t know what Claudia does”. How can the head of a company not know where his money is going? So I yelled and screamed and lost the plot. I then asked if this “error” was going to be rectified and I was told, “NO, it’s too late now”.

Deep down I thought, “Oh shit DH you are about to get fired and this is no time for you to be losing your job” Instead I then got nothing but silence and my boss hanging his head in shame and being embarrassed that he was caught out! Yet nothing is still being done about the fact and I loathe people ripping other people off. It’s so wrong and it’s such bad karma.

I don’t know what’s going to happen from here and I’m torn as to whether I have to inform my co-worker of what’s going on.

Bad Karma to you Mr. John!

DH

xoxo

I’m obsessed with my slow cooker and my rice cooker…

Name a kitchen appliance and I can bet you I’ve got it! I love kitchen appliances and love how easy they make my life!

My mum gave me a Slow Cooker as a wedding present and I was appreciative and placed it in my appliance cupboard. Yes readers I have entire double door cupboard that consists all of my appliances. Ok, so the said cupboard should really be utilized as a linen cupboard but when one woman has the amount of appliances that I do then it’s deserving to have an entire cupboard to stock them and admire them. YES I admire my appliances!

I would love it if The Husband could install those cupboard lights, you know the one I mean right? The ones that as soon as you open the cupboard it all lights up. Hmmm maybe I need to ask him to do that for our next wedding anniversary as a gift. But I digress…my mum had given me this slow cooker and I had never used it. One of my dear girlfriends is always telling me about her amazing slow cooker and the amazing meals she makes with it.

So I bit the bullet today and decided to make the most divine meal that I have had in a long while. I placed 3 chicken breasts in, along with some brown sugar, ketchup and kecap manis and cooked for 4 hours. Then 15 minutes before the chicken was to be served up I used my rice cooker that I use weekly!

I was apprehensive initially about the slow cooker as I have never eaten a meal that has been cooked in one and I had never used one myself until today. Seriously my apprehension was unnecessary as the chicken was so tender and so delicious. So much so that I am scrounging the Internet to find more recipes.

I love the simplicity of popping things into the appliances and then concentrating on other things and letting the appliances do their thing.

Enough jibber jabber about my appliances and I now have to go and clean the kitchen as it is in a state of disgrace!

DH

xoxo

Oh shit it's a Family Reunion!

Today my entire clan got together at my Uncle Phil & Auntie Evelyn’s house for a double celebration. My Uncle Phil’s Birthday come Family Reunion. To say I was dreading it would be the understatement of the month!

I love my parents and sibling like you wouldn’t believe. I would take a bullet for them. I can tolerate my Aunts, Uncles and Cousins in very small doses and hence why I was dreading this celebration.

My extended family are truly lovely people on a one on one basis but put them all together in the same place and the same time and they become headaches. Everyone talks over one another, they debate about trivial shit and say if one uncle doesn’t agree with something an aunt has to say then an argument ensues. When you tell them to shut the fuck (not in exactly those words) it tends to make them even more animated.

They are the type of folk that are extremely passionate in their beliefs and there is nothing wrong with that but if you don’t think like them, if you don’t agree with them and if you don’t conform to their expectations then it gets rather heated.

My father, God love him, is the type of character who tells you what he thinks whether you asked for his opinion or not, he is also a very cheeky man who stirs up the pot so he can sit back and wet himself from laughter as the remainder of his siblings start arguing. It CAN be rather funny and there has been many a time when I have been in the corner of the room giggling like a schoolgirl but it’s also a tad embarrassing when your father is the instigator of these episodes.

I have many cousins who are nice people but The Husband and I really have nothing, and I mean nothing, in common with them whatsoever. Being that I am one of the youngest of about 13 cousins and the majority of my cousins are in the 55+ regions there is no real connection there. I don’t blame anyone its just the circumstance. When I was born they were all in their early to mid teens. I was also the token brat whom like my father would tell them what I thought of them from a young age and I was the brat who used to catch them smoking and drinking and bribe them to give me chocolate or money or else I was going to dob them in.

Yes, yes, I wasn’t a fair player but I was only like that from the ages of 5-10. I was a cheeky brat who knew from a very early age the power and art of manipulation. I don’t know where I picked that up from but I believe that this trait was just in me. My bad LOL!

Whilst my cousins were having children I was somewhere around the world on one of my many overseas adventures. They were all headed in the direction of marriage and then children whilst I was out drinking, partying, smoking, finding myself and having adventures in some far away land.

The last time we were all together was at my wedding 2 years ago. It was lovely and pleasant seeing them all on my big day and they were all very complimentary and sweet but after a few drinks at our reception they were slightly inebriated and their misery spewed forth with a few of them cornering me and slurring “Why did you get married for?” Like the saying goes misery loves company and if you aren’t miserable like they are then we can’t connect.

I apprehensively got ready for this reunion as did The Husband and we really just did not want to attend. We got there, we ate, we were ignored by the cousins and they all spoke about what they wanted without one of them asking us about us. It sounds like my cousins are rude and mean but they really aren’t they are just not on the same planet as The Husband and I. I like the believe that The Husband and I think a little bit outside of the box and my extended family tend to think and act inside the box.

Overall, it was lovely seeing them all, but I wish we could have just done a hit and run. Hit and run being we walk in say HI, say HAPPY BIRTHDAY and then run! Sadly I have come to the realization that at the end of the day I am related to these people and I had no choice in the matter and that really my life journey doesn’t really include any of them. It is, as narcissistic as this is going to sound, just about The Husband and I.

So glad to be finally home!

DH

xoxo

Tori Spelling’s Mommywood

Being as exhausted as I was yesterday (and not to forget the last couple of weeks) I should have gone to bed early rather than read Tori Spelling’s Mommyworld basically from cover to cover in one sitting. I was never really a 90210 fan, nor was I ever a fan of Tori Spelling. In my mind he was just a spoilt rich girl whose daddy made her famous by putting her on his TV show. That’s all I ever thought.

A year or so ago though whilst channel surfing one boring weekend I came across her reality series “Tori & Dean Home Sweet Hollywood” and I cant quite remember what she said or did in this episode but I remember distinctly laughing out aloud at the TV screen. I ended up watching the series and I have to say this woman is completely and utterly not how I expected her to be.

I fell in love with this reality show and made sure I would watch each episode as it aired. I was amazed that she has a brain, has an opinion, and is do darn funny. I became a Tori Spelling fan!

So I lay in bed last night and read her book and became an even bigger fan! Now when I say fan I should elaborate. If Tori was to come to Australia for a book signing I honestly wouldn’t show up to it and I wouldn’t gush “I love you Tori” but I’m more of fan who sits back and thinks “you are too fucking cool Ms Tori Spelling”

I loved this book and I loved the fact that Tori expressed a couple of times in her book that her parents where mega super doper rich but she had to work to keep her kids in school, to pay the bills and to basically survive. Tori also doesn’t hide her neurosis which we ALL have, she was upfront and honest about things and it made me relate to her. She talked about trying to adapt to being a step mum and the love she has for all her 3 children was just lush! Tori is a real person in La-La Land and for me that was like a breath of fresh air!

If you can get your hands on a copy of this book I highly recommend you taking a read. It’s a light read but rather funny and entertaining.

DH

xoxo

P.S – her mother Candy Spelling sounds like an uptight bitch who needs to use a vibrator to help her relax and to start enjoying her beautiful grandchildren!

Tears...

It’s been a hard week but thankfully my boss took pity on me and let me go home 2 hours earlier than planned! What a way to end this week.

My work mate Steve finished up working with us yesterday and as much as he grated on my nerves at times and his laziness used to infuriate the life out of me and don’t get me started with his lack of work ethic! I actually feel like I am not in the same workplace anymore. He was a practical joker who would have us (or me) laughing daily. I actually am going to miss him.

I was quite sad today, so much so that I burst into tears this morning as soon as I walked into my workplace. Our receptionist took one look at me and I noticed that my tears were making her tear up.

I was so embarrassed that I broke out the way I did and spent the day today apologizing profusely. My boss looked at me like there was something obscenely wrong with me and told me that he had never seen my cry over someone leaving.

I cried and cried and felt so sad that I thought I better calculate when my period was due as these tears were definitely not tears of joys, nor were they really tears of sadness but tears of something else! I sat with my diary in front of me and I’m not due for another fortnight so it must not be the hormones taking over.

I then thought well could I be pregnant? Don’t women get hypersensitive and emotional and teary when they fall pregnant? Readers please excuse my ignorance when it comes to anything pregnancy related but I have never been pregnant to know how one should feel. At lunchtime I raced to the local pharmacy and grabbed me a pregnancy test just to be sure.

I discreetly placed the pregnancy test down the front of my pants and went into the staff bathroom and then peed on the stick and waited anxiously. I waited some more and then waited some more and after 3 minutes of sheer terror and anxiety it came back negative. So how do I explain these tears?

I’ve come home early from work and have sat quietly in the comfort of my home thinking about, okay over analysing, why I am so morose and teary and 5 hours after the fact I am no clearer as to why.

Maybe I am so overworked and over stressed and over tired that I just need to catch up on my sleep and get back into the groove of my very happy and fulfilling life.

Maybe I shouldn’t have called my blog Dishevelled Happiness as all I seem to be doing is not really appreciating the goodness and happiness in my life but I seem to be focusing more on tears, fatigue, stress and sadness.

Someone please help me get out of this funk please!

DH

xoxo