Monday, August 2, 2010

My patience is wearing thin.

The last couple of days I have been waking up in very mad moods and everyone and everything seems to be irritating me. I hate feeling this way and I hate the fact that I feel like I am about to snap at everyone that approaches me. Before you ask I am not “hormonal” and it is not time of the month nor am I pregnant. I’m just really annoyed at the world, with everyone around, with everyone I come into contact with and yes annoyed at myself.

From the second I woke up this morning I just knew it was going to be an irritating sort of day. The Law of Attraction says that what you put out there is what you get back. I honestly don’t believe that because I do not want to be in this mood whatsoever. I just want to wake up, go to work, work hard and be happy. Who in their right mind would want to feel irritable and have no patience whatsoever?

As soon as I sat down at my work desk today it was one issue after the after with clients on the phone expecting their deliveries and busting my balls and then the staff around me throwing wobblies because one staff member hadn’t made them a cup of coffee. I just wanted to scream down the phone “Its fucking 9am on a Monday morning and I’ve just walked in how the fuck am I supposed to know where your fucking shit is” as for the staff throwing their wobblies over coffee I just wanted to scream “How about you make your own fucking cup of coffee” But as usual and what is expected and professional I bit my tongue and said nothing!

What makes matters worse is that everyone around me seems to be in high spirits and great moods, which just tends to drag me down, even further. How can you not be irritable when everyone around you is fresh, up and happy and you are feeling nothing but doom and gloom! I have lost all patience with everyone and even in myself and no matter how much I have tried to snap out of this mood I simply cant.

I know I am physically and mentally exhausted and I really just need a week off work to do literally nothing but unwind but how do I ask my superiors that I need a week off when we have staff who are incompetent and others that are leaving and then we are trying out three new workers over the next few weeks and I am the sucker that has to train them? I’m ready to throw myself on the ground and throw a tantrum and cry and stomp my arms and legs and scream.

Is there something wrong with me when I want nothing but to stay in bed for 4 days and not speak to anyone or do anything? Am I suffering from depression? Is it just fatigue and exhaustion or is it something more?

I like to always be upbeat, positive and happy but I physically can’t do it. I may just try to go bed early tonight and pray that tomorrow is going to be a better happy positive day. I need to get out of this funk and I need to get out of it quick smart as I am afraid of what may spew forth from my mouth!

DH

xoxo

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