Makeup.

I was forced to clean my massive makeup collection today all because a bottle of foundation decided to explode all over the place. I hate it when makeup leaks all over the place, as it’s so sticky and so hard to clean up! Whilst sitting on the cold bathroom tiles I came to the realization that since meeting The Husband I hardly feel the need to wear makeup anymore.

I was the type of woman who would wake up bright and early every morning and paint my face on. I guess using makeup was like using a shield. Maybe it was an unconscious thing that I felt this desire to cover myself and not show me a la naturale. Maybe it was also that I was not comfortable in my own skin. Since meeting The Husband I guess I feel more comfortable in my skin and don’t feel the need to cover up anymore. Daily he would tell me that I looked so much prettier with no makeup on and initially I would literally shrug away at his words until one day it sort of sunk in my head. The Husband preferred me bare faced and makeup free. Something just clicked in my head that The Husband liked me for me, not for what I wore, not for what I pained on my face, he saw whom I really was.

I remember the routine each and every morning, first came the cleaner, the toner the moisturizer then makeup primer, concealer, foundation, pressed powder, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, then bronzer, blusher and finally the lipstick. Why did I do this? Why did I feel that I had to paint layer upon layer upon layer of makeup and spend hours applying it. Then re-touching up after lunch break and then spend for ever taking the crap off my face?

I remember when I stopped wearing makeup and when looking at my reflection I would shudder. I’m not an ugly woman I’m just an average every day woman but the day I looked in the mirror and saw a naked fresh faced me was sort of a shock to the system. Who was this person looking back at me? Was it really me?

Happily I am now, almost 3 years later, used to looking at my reflection in the mirror, bare faced, blemishes galore, freckles a plenty, dry skin and all. This is who I am, who I really am and I like it, I like it a lot. I like me and its taken me so, so long to finally and I mean FINALLY like me. I am happy with who I am, who I have become or evolved into and I'm happy with all the stupid mistakes I have made in my life.

I am no longer searching for approval from anyone and to say that feeling this way is liberating would definitely be an understatement! I am happy with me and I am happy being in my skin bare faced and all!

DH

xoxo