The Boomtown Rats sang a song titled “I don’t like Mondays” and of course they were singing about a 16 year old woman by the name of Brenda Ann Spencer who back in 1979 shot at some innocent children and I think 3 adults.Her response as to why she did such a heinous crime was “I don’t like Mondays and this livens the day”.
I awoke today not in exactly the same head space as Brenda Ann but I did wake up in the foulest of foulest of moods and my brain kindly reminded me that it was Monday and ohhh how I don’t like Mondays!
I opened my eyes this morning and had absolutely no motivation to get up and get to work. I couldn't fathom how Monday had come by again so quickly! I’m okay once Monday passes but Sunday nights I tend to suffer what I refer to as “dread nights”. I almost always suffer moments of anxiety and a tremendous amount of dread. Which in turn almost always has me tossing and turning all of Sunday night in bed.
Seems though that I was so anxious and dreading going to work today that the husband told me that I was talking in my sleep. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but exhaustion, frustration and fatigue has reared its ugly head and getting myself out of bed is just agonizing.
If I wasn’t so loyal to my job and couldn’t care then I would have pulled a sickie today and called in sick complaining of some fake ailment! I wish I had the balls to do that, to lie to my boss and not go into work but alas I just couldn’t and can’t bring myself to doing something like that.
I’m at a point in my life and in my career where I am feeling a tad disillusioned with life and career. Don’t get me wrong I love my home life and wouldn’t change a single thing about it but there has to be more to life than just work. Right? Today has left me questioning this, and questioning this and questioning this.
I thought back to my life and realized that I have never ever been unemployed. Not a single day of unemployment. I feel blessed that I have been lucky enough to always have been in paid employment. But I am a 40-year-old woman who hasn’t had massive breaks from work; I had 6 months off to go backpacking through Europe and Asia some 10 years ago. I’m left feeling ripped off and disillusioned in a sense. All I have done and do is work, work, work.
I can confidentially say that I don’t love my job; in fact I have never loved my job. I stay in my current workplace only because they tell me that I am great at my job but they all don’t realize that I’m not great at my job I just have the routine and procedures down pat. Repetition is the key to success in any job; well that’s what I think! If you are constantly repeating your job and doing and saying the same things over and over then you cant go wrong!
So why do I do what I do? I can honestly say that I do it so that I may be “rewarded” with my pay each and every month. I’ve become so sad and pathetic!
Hopefully tomorrow being Tuesday will bring me a better day and hopefully snap me out of my Monday-itis! Tell me friends am I the only one that doesn’t like Mondays and am I the only one who feels that all they seem to do is work?
DH
xoxo
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